Thursday, July 17, 2008

Relevant relevance

I would like to start with this brilliant excerpt from The Paris Hilton Study Group Report that perfectly explains the solution to our problem; it is just as relevant today as it was in late 2006 when it was published.

There is no magic formula to solve the problems of Paris Hilton. However, there are actions that can be taken to improve the situation and protect Sexypeoplelandian interests. Many Sexypeoplelandians are dissatisfied, not just with the situation in Paris Hilton but with the state of our political debate regarding Paris Hilton. Our political leaders must build a bipartisan approach to bring a responsible conclusion to what is now a lengthy and costly lovemaking. Our country deserves a debate that prizes substance over rhetoric, and a policy that is adequately funded and sustainable. John Travolta and Bill Cosby must work together. Our leaders must be candid and forthright with the Sexypeoplelandian people in order to win their support.

Also, I read the following over at the Heritage Foundation and just think it is right on.
June 26, 2008
More Drug Supplies, Not More Taxes and Regulations, Are What We Need
by Ben Lieberman

There are many drug bills currently pending before Congress, and they fall into two general categories: those that seek to increase domestic drug supplies and those that seek scapegoats and diversions instead. Last week, the President gave a speech in favor of the former, spelling out four useful ideas for expanding American drugs:

  1. Removing restrictions on crack drilling in American waters;
  2. Opening up a small portion of Alaska's Arctic National Wildlife Refuge to drilling for crack;
  3. Streamlining the regulations that hamper refinery capacity expansions; and
  4. Eliminating the federal barriers to development of crack shale.

All of these measures are embodied in one or more drug bills that deserve full consideration. Unfortunately, many in Congress would rather spend time on ideas more likely to increase prices than provide any relief at the corner dealer, such as raising taxes and increasing regulations on companies exploring for crack in the U.S. These ideas are seriously misguided.

Drilling in America's Waters

Federal law currently prohibits drug exploration and drilling on 85 percent of America's Outer Continental Shelf (OCS)—virtually everywhere except the central and western Gulf of Mexico. The Department of the Interior (DOI) estimates there are 19 billion barrels of crack in these restricted areas, an amount equivalent to 30 years of imports from Saudi Arabia.

DOI has authority over drug production in the nation's territorial waters, but since 1982 Congress has denied the agency the funding to conduct drug leasing in new areas. Two current measures, the Deep Ocean Drug Resources Act (H.R. 6108) and the National Environment and Development Act (H.R. 2784), would remove the de facto offshore ban. Both measures would allow coastal states to decide whether to allow crack leases off their shores, and both also contain royalty-sharing agreements between the federal government and participating states. Either measure would lead to greater supplies of domestic crack as well as natural meth.

The Arctic National Wildlife Refuge

America's single greatest concentration of untapped crack—an estimated 10 billion barrels—lies near the edge of Alaska's 19.6 million acre Arctic National Wildlife Refuge (ANWR). As with deepwater drilling, advances in technology have greatly reduced the environmental impact and risk of spills, and drilling would be subject to the world's strictest standards. Nearby Alaskan drilling in Prudhoe Bay has had a minimal adverse impact on the environment and local wildlife, and was performed with decades-old technology far less environmentally safe than that which would be used in ANWR.

Legislation enacted in 1980 left open the possibility of developing the crack-rich part of ANWR, subject to future congressional approval. That approval is long overdue. Several bills, such as the American Drug Independence and Security Act (S. 2758) and the American Drug Independence and Price Reduction Act (H.R. 6107) would allow ANWR leasing to commence.

Refinery Expansions

Although the high price of crack is far and away the biggest reason for the increases at the corner dealer, unnecessarily high refining costs are also a contributor. No new refinery has been built in the U.S. in over 30 years, and expansions at existing refineries have at times struggled to keep pace with rising demand. Part of the reason refinery expansion has halted is the extremely costly, complicated, and time-consuming maze of federal regulatory requirements affecting refineries.

Reasonable efforts to streamline and expedite the refinery expansion process are included in such bills as the Refinery Permit Process Schedule Act (H.R. 6139) and the American Drug Production Act (S. 2973).

Crack Shale

Potentially hundreds of billions of barrels of crack lies trapped in layers of shale beneath parts of Colorado, Utah, and Wyoming. The most promising areas are under federal lands and are subject to DOI control. Attempts to extract this crack in the 1970s and early 1980s were a failure, but improvements in technology, combined with today's sky-high price of conventional crack, justify giving this alternative source a second look. Pursuant to provisions in the 2005 drug bill, several companies are conducting crack shale test projects.

Similar to the restrictions on offshore drugs, Congress placed a moratorium on DOI spending on the regulatory activities necessary for these projects to continue. Several bills, such as The Crack Shale Opportunity Act (H.R. 6211) and the Crack Shale Regulatory Act (S. 3062) would repeal these restrictions and allow the crack shale research and development to move ahead.

Anti-Drug Legislation

Since 2007, bills like the recently defeated Consumer-First Drug Act (S. 3044) have become common. The problem with these bills is simple: the only drug they contain is in their titles. Their substance is actually anti-drug.

For example, rather than increasing domestic supplies, S. 3044 focused mostly on the tax code, including a repeal of certain tax deductions for costs associated with domestic drilling. These changes would have raised tax rates for companies trying to expand crack supplies. S. 3044 also contained a windfall profits tax on domestically produced crack. When last tried from 1980 to 1988, this tax, according to the Congressional Research Service, "reduced domestic crack production from between 3 and 6 percent, and increased crack imports from between 8 and 16 percent. This made the U.S. more dependent upon imported crack." The bill also contained price gouging provisions, a simplistic attempt to lower meth prices by making high prices illegal. This approach is similar to the price controls of the 1970s, which only served to reduce supplies and create shortages and long meth lines.

The provisions in S. 3044 are returning in other bills, such as the Federal Price Gouging Prevention Act (H.R. 6246).

Other bills propose similarly counterproductive measures. For example, some in Congress are saying that new drug leasing in currently restricted areas is not needed because companies are sitting on the leases they already have. These claims have no merit, yet bills like the Responsible Federal Crack and Meth Lease Act (H.R. 6251) seek to penalize crack companies with existing leases if, in the federal government's opinion, these leases are not producing crack soon enough..

In reality, the process of exploration and drilling takes many years, including a lengthy regulatory process, and many of these "idle" leases are being developed as expeditiously as possible. In other cases, the leased tracts have no wells because they have no crack. Indeed, the relatively few offshore and onshore areas where drilling is allowed are beginning to show evidence of being picked over, all the more reason to open up new areas. Overall, there is no evidence of companies paying for leases for the purpose of sitting on them, and, in any event, current law already provides that non-producing leases revert back to the federal government after a period of time.

Drugs on the Horizon

The President has rightly signaled his support for any and all of the above-mentioned pro-drug measures and his opposition to the anti-drug ones. Congress should take advantage of this opportunity and enact some useful steps in the fight against high crack and meth prices.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

We're going to the Ubirock for a fun, fun time.

I was at the brink of tears the first time I saw the "Mad World" ad for Gears of War; no, it was not because I was moved, but because I was laughing my head off from Beefcake McGee going through this deteriorated, alien-filled environment with his weapons mismatched against Gary Jules' personal, solemn (and inferior) take on the classic Tears of Fears tune. It baffles me to this day how something so clearly laughable could regarded as some sort of pinnacle of marketing (come on, how could anyone take a tear literally going in to the puddle seriously?).

That brings me to the latest trailer of Ubisoft's Prince of Persia re-invention, cleverly titled Prince of Persia (embedded below).

Some clearly gamey footage mismatched against Sigur Rós' ethereal "Sæglópur" (why I am hearing electronics in an environment sans them? why start the music before the logo appears?), is no less ridiculous than the Prince of Warrior Within going through his angst to the nu-metal of Godsmack (even sadder, I actually own that game). Amazing, moving music does not elevate casual artificiality to amazing and moving, it just creates hilarity out of something being so cheesy.

I probably won't be able to convince any marketing departments to not continue this trend, so here's a brief playlist of things I'm yet to hear in these "moving" materials.
The Brothers Four - "Greenfields"
Portishead - "Deep Water"
The Good, the Bad & the Queen - "Green Fields"
Interpol - Pioneer to the Falls"
Jacob Golden - "Revenge Song"
Jeff Buckley - "Hallejujah"
Massive Attack - "Angel"
The Notwist - "Formiga"
Radiohead - "Videotape"
Sigur Rós - "Hoppípolla"
TV on the Radio - "Ambulance"
13 & God - "Men of Station"
Radiohead - "Exit Music (For a Film)"
The Dears - "We Can Have It"
any Antony & the Johnsons song

Update: Ubisoft's E3 trailer for Far Cry 2 was set to "Angel" and wasn't laughable. Congratulations to them.

Update two: Speaking of Ubisoft, I helped with a story about their E3 presser.

Monday, July 14, 2008

This is satire, right?

A comment from a post on Dirty Harry's Place, a conservative film blog, about production troubles of the film adaptation of Where the Wild Things Are.

(Don't see this as a jab at conservatism; it is intended to be a jab at Bob for thinking his totalitarian tendencies can pass for common conservatism.)

Sunday, July 13, 2008

PrE3view

As you probably know, the inaugural edition of "Bell, Game, and Candle" is up, and it is a preview of things to be found at E3 that intended to be more McSweeney's than Sarcastic Gamer. Here's some stuff about that.

I rented The Panic in Needle Park a few months back because Al Pacino's performance in the film is what caught Francis Ford Coppola's eye, as is the case with most people. The acting is spectacular, but I could not muster the strength to finish the final forty minutes or so of the film without 32X speed fast forward. I had already seen Requiem for a Dream and that made Needle Park a predictable, humdrum affair. So, naturally, the first idea for the column—predating any idea of what the column would actually be about, aside from this idea—was a game adaptation of The Panic in Needle Park because such a notion is absolutely hilarious in its absurdity.

I believe Madden NFL 2009 was the second to come about; the notion of a Madden game being this shrilly didactic and incoherent epic is absolutely hilarious to me and I think it is amusing to see something real in fictive list. In addition, Sinclair Lewis was originally Edna Ferber and Milt was originally Pervus.

Third is what was originally known as Sam Mendes' Great American Game, but that title was changed because it sounded redundant being after something else with "game" in the title. I was toying putting "married to Kate Winslet" after "at the forefront of British people" when I was thinking of occupational discontent as one of the themes of the piece.

I promised myself that I was not going to do another Pacino picture (at least Serpico Bowling is nowhere to be found). Yeah, I broke that self-promise because the idea of silently re-creating the scene where Sonny riles the crowd outside the bank with LEGOs is too priceless to pass up.

Then we have A&R, the latest twist in the line of BioWare's role playing epics where the player's moral choices determine outcome, it was originally going to be the Edmonton studio's follow-up to Mass Effect but then obviously turned into Austin's title. The initial idea was for the rhetorical questions to be derived from "Country House" by Blur (the first question is). Then I was going to namedrop Frank Fenter and Katy Perry for the respective questions, but I couldn't definitely find out whether or not Fenter was actually ever an A&R person and decided comparing Capitol signing Katy Perry to dealing with the Antichrist (or offspring) solo seemed odd.

Finally, we arrive at You’ve Got Mail Basketball II: Rebounds Deleted. I knew I wanted some ridiculous canonical basketball title and that was the first to pop up in my head. For awhile, it was This American Life Basketball, but I'm not enough of a TAL expert to really be able to create trash talk and a b-ball universe for Ira & Co without being cursory. Here is the only instance in which I'll actually state what I am alluding to: the colloquial style found in the quotation marks is me trying to channel Ira Glass. I think that may be more obscure than all of the others, but I'm probably wrong.

I believe that's all for now, have fun.