Chapter One: The Day Before Tomorrow
It was December 19th, 2012, and John Cusack was putting his kids—named Old Kid and Young Baby—to bed early so he could indulge in his favorite hobby, which is fan fiction based on the short-lived John Candy animated series Camp Candy.
Old Kid asked if there was any truth to the fear-mongering news report he heard on the news that night about the world ending. “Is there any truth to the fear-mongering news report I heard on the news earlier tonight about the world ending?” asked Old Kid.
The baby was babbling. “Goo Stargate goo,” said the baby.
John Cusack denied there was any truth. “No, those news reports are not truth,” said John Cusack.
Old Kid was relieved. “I am relieved to hear that father John Cusack,” Old Kid yawn-yelled.
John Cusack did not like these reports, because they originated from conspiracy theorists, and John Cusack’s grandmother died from beating up because of a conspiracy theorist who ate all of the world’s steroids, dubbed “Man-Godzilla.”
“These guys would even be laughed out of 10,000 B.C.,” John Cusack brain-whispered to himself. “I don’t know why they seem themselves as The Patriot that will be redeemed on Independence Day.”
But there was a meteor around the corner. “IMMA METEOR AND IMMA FLYING OUTTTA DA SKY,” gleefully screamed the meteor. “WATCH OUT JOHN CUSACK ALSO KNOWN AS MAN-GODZILLA.”
The meteor knew John Cusack’s secret.
Friday, October 2, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Thursday, July 9, 2009
New Liberal Arts
It is a book.
A book which I (and many other fantastic folks) contributed to.
A book which can be attained in a variety of free formats.
Edit: Inspired by Robin Sloan's discovery of a machine-written blog post that he likened to putting some of the book through Google Translate, I decided to put my contribution to the book chronologically through every language on Google Translate (barring Persian, which is in Alpha). The result follows.
A book which I (and many other fantastic folks) contributed to.
A book which can be attained in a variety of free formats.
Edit: Inspired by Robin Sloan's discovery of a machine-written blog post that he likened to putting some of the book through Google Translate, I decided to put my contribution to the book chronologically through every language on Google Translate (barring Persian, which is in Alpha). The result follows.
Skills and in fact, explained in political science community 2.0 Therefore, the training of social conservative and liberal blog, the two drivers and the media and friends. The number of street violence and pain of the benefits themselves. Let the future, and these opinions are correct, clear support for the people. Apparently, 5 in this region does not apply to the war want to go.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Monday, June 15, 2009
A mea culpa.
A few posts ago I alluded to a "filmic complement to the Imagine: Party Babyz review"; well, this was to be a review of an early, outdated draft of the forthcoming Jonas-Farrelly sibling collab Walter the Farting Dog.
Well, I read through about four pages before deciding it was one of the worst things I have ever read, and unlike Party Babyz, there was no way I could find something remotely enjoyable or charming or redeeming enough to soldier on.
So, sorry about that
I swear I had set this post to go up automatically last Friday, but it seems not.
Well, I read through about four pages before deciding it was one of the worst things I have ever read, and unlike Party Babyz, there was no way I could find something remotely enjoyable or charming or redeeming enough to soldier on.
So, sorry about that
I swear I had set this post to go up automatically last Friday, but it seems not.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Stories of love.
About two months ago, I was confounded by the news that Paul Weitz would be adding another wretched project to his plate before tackling the adaptation of Nick Flynn’s masterful Another Bullshit Night in Suck City—the very unnecessary sequel-to-a-sequel Little Fockers (though that is probably the one for the studio).
Well maybe I should have not been that surprised, as according to a filing at the United States Copyright Office, Paul and his brother Chris (and David O. Russell) did rewrites on the script for Meet the Fockers1. (Okay, it is entirely possible that this was just another script doctoring gig for them, and there is no real connection, like how Kung Fu Panda is probably unrelated to the brothers’ Temple Rat for DreamWorks Animation2).
Watchmen scribe Alex Tse (fresh off of selling DA Verdict to MGM3) had performed a rewrite on Step Up4, John Lee Hancock lent a hand on Ghost Rider5, and Judd Apatow did so on Bruce Almighty (along with Bob Odenkirk)6 and the 2005 Locklear-Duff romcom The Perfect Man7 (an uncredit possibly more damning than his credit on Zohan).
Back in 2006, Andrew Niccol—man behind some films I have quite some fondness for—sold a spec to Fox entitled The City That Sailed8. According to Google search for the title, some random site recently reported that Will Smith was prepping for a film of the same name, where he would play a magician in NYC with a daughter in the UK, and when they are reunited in NYC, the city starts floating across the ocean towards the UK—typical stuff. Interesting coincidence. And Niccol also worked on a pilot proposal called Great Bridge for HBO in 20029.
Speaking of HBO, filings from last year reveal that the underrated Tom McCarthy and short-subject Oscar-winning playwright Eric Simonson were commissioned to write an untitled project10, which Simonson’s bio at the Boston Lyric Opera site claims to be a pilot. However, there is a possibility that it is Simonson's recently finished Studs Terkel doc for the premium cabler mentioned in a Playbill story from yesterday, as the filing is very vague.
Despite much ballyhoo being made about Tetro being Francis Ford Coppola’s first screenplay since The Conversation, there is not much veracity to the claim. Of course, there is Coppola’s intended Godfather Part III follow-up Megalopolis, which I assume even the most casual Coppola fan is vaguely familiar with by now; the 2001 filing for the presumably near-shooting script “Megalopolis: screenplay in four seasons”11 doesn’t shed much new light beyond a 145 page count and alternate titles “Mega” and “Catiline.” (If you are really curious about the ostensible mystery that is Megalopolis, do a Google search and a Google Book Search for “coppola megalopolis” to sate your curiosity.)
But there’s another project, sort of, and one that’s hitherto unknown: in 1999, Paramount optioned Dennis Jakob’s 1997 “screen treatment” Inferno12, based on 13-page treatment from the same year penned by Coppola himself13. (There is a slight possibility that this is an adaptation of The Divine Comedy, but for our convenience, let’s assume not.)
(For those unfamiliar with Dennis Jakob, a brief primer: While a film student at UCLA, he became friends with Coppola and Jim Morrison. Following college, Morrison stayed with Jakob, and out of their conversations came the name “The Doors.” At the recommendation of Coppola, Jakob was hired to shoot the climax of Roger Corman’s The Terror. Jakob then dabbled in miscellaneous editing work which led to Jakob becoming Coppola’s unofficial guru-of-sorts; playing a very crucial role in development and editing of Apocalypse Now, for which Jakob received the credit of “creative consultant.” During post, Jakob was enraged by Francis becoming romantically interested in someone he was romantically interested in; Jakob disappeared for awhile with some of the film’s reels and was only coaxed back by a UCLA story. Barring a few IMDb credits, after some doctoring work on Hammett, Jakob basically disappeared off the face of the Earth. Though, Errol Morris’ Oscar film from a few years back featured a San Francisco-based film historian of the same name.)
On the topic of reclusive-ish types, nine years ago, Fox Animation optioned Cupid & Psyche by Terrence Malick14; yes, I too am trying to figure out the legend (sure, there is no evidence is it based on Apuleius’ creation, but what the hell else would a pitch/script called “Cupid & Psyche” be about?) would work in a PG-rated animated film and what exactly the development exec at Fox Animation was thinking with this decision.
Finally, filings show that Tetro star Vincent Gallo has a quartet of hitherto unknown, unproduced screenplays: 2008's Hello Sadness Goodbye Love15, (registered as "print materials," so it possibly could be a book and not a screenplay), registered a week before his ostensible retirement; 2006's Stars16 and Her17, registered on the same day in August of that year; and 2005's Frobia18, registered exactly three years to date before HSGL.
The Copyright Office does not allow direct linking for filings, thus most of this is unsourced. But if curious, head here and look up the corresponding registration numbers below.
1. PAu002893506
2. V3457D303
3. V3509D176
4. V3533D389
5. PAu003014539
6. PAu002724245
7. PAu002886719
8. V3543D012
9. V3491D669
10. V3569D084, V3569D081
11. PAu002601454
12. V3440D204, PAu002477006
13. PAu002410958, V3440D203
14. V3457D797
15. PAu003378618
16. PAu003067120
17. PAu003047255
18. PAu002931329
Update (6/25): I've been getting a Google referrals from around LA for The City That Sailed; some that would suggest the project was or is in turnaround.
Update (6/29): Through a Google search, I noticed The City That Sailed is mentioned Variety's listing of Overbrook's (Smith's prodco) future slate from last December; the synopsis was very similar to that described on the Nuke The Fridge site, and as of last December the film was set up at Fox. Probably less of "interesting coincidence" and more of "they are the same film."
Update (7/8): Ooh, Statcounter records reveal that someone from VNU, probably someone named Borys Kit, visited about a half-hour before a Bory Kit-penned Hollywood Reporter story about The City That Sailed went up.
Well maybe I should have not been that surprised, as according to a filing at the United States Copyright Office, Paul and his brother Chris (and David O. Russell) did rewrites on the script for Meet the Fockers1. (Okay, it is entirely possible that this was just another script doctoring gig for them, and there is no real connection, like how Kung Fu Panda is probably unrelated to the brothers’ Temple Rat for DreamWorks Animation2).
Watchmen scribe Alex Tse (fresh off of selling DA Verdict to MGM3) had performed a rewrite on Step Up4, John Lee Hancock lent a hand on Ghost Rider5, and Judd Apatow did so on Bruce Almighty (along with Bob Odenkirk)6 and the 2005 Locklear-Duff romcom The Perfect Man7 (an uncredit possibly more damning than his credit on Zohan).
Back in 2006, Andrew Niccol—man behind some films I have quite some fondness for—sold a spec to Fox entitled The City That Sailed8. According to Google search for the title, some random site recently reported that Will Smith was prepping for a film of the same name, where he would play a magician in NYC with a daughter in the UK, and when they are reunited in NYC, the city starts floating across the ocean towards the UK—typical stuff. Interesting coincidence. And Niccol also worked on a pilot proposal called Great Bridge for HBO in 20029.
Speaking of HBO, filings from last year reveal that the underrated Tom McCarthy and short-subject Oscar-winning playwright Eric Simonson were commissioned to write an untitled project10, which Simonson’s bio at the Boston Lyric Opera site claims to be a pilot. However, there is a possibility that it is Simonson's recently finished Studs Terkel doc for the premium cabler mentioned in a Playbill story from yesterday, as the filing is very vague.
Despite much ballyhoo being made about Tetro being Francis Ford Coppola’s first screenplay since The Conversation, there is not much veracity to the claim. Of course, there is Coppola’s intended Godfather Part III follow-up Megalopolis, which I assume even the most casual Coppola fan is vaguely familiar with by now; the 2001 filing for the presumably near-shooting script “Megalopolis: screenplay in four seasons”11 doesn’t shed much new light beyond a 145 page count and alternate titles “Mega” and “Catiline.” (If you are really curious about the ostensible mystery that is Megalopolis, do a Google search and a Google Book Search for “coppola megalopolis” to sate your curiosity.)
But there’s another project, sort of, and one that’s hitherto unknown: in 1999, Paramount optioned Dennis Jakob’s 1997 “screen treatment” Inferno12, based on 13-page treatment from the same year penned by Coppola himself13. (There is a slight possibility that this is an adaptation of The Divine Comedy, but for our convenience, let’s assume not.)
(For those unfamiliar with Dennis Jakob, a brief primer: While a film student at UCLA, he became friends with Coppola and Jim Morrison. Following college, Morrison stayed with Jakob, and out of their conversations came the name “The Doors.” At the recommendation of Coppola, Jakob was hired to shoot the climax of Roger Corman’s The Terror. Jakob then dabbled in miscellaneous editing work which led to Jakob becoming Coppola’s unofficial guru-of-sorts; playing a very crucial role in development and editing of Apocalypse Now, for which Jakob received the credit of “creative consultant.” During post, Jakob was enraged by Francis becoming romantically interested in someone he was romantically interested in; Jakob disappeared for awhile with some of the film’s reels and was only coaxed back by a UCLA story. Barring a few IMDb credits, after some doctoring work on Hammett, Jakob basically disappeared off the face of the Earth. Though, Errol Morris’ Oscar film from a few years back featured a San Francisco-based film historian of the same name.)
On the topic of reclusive-ish types, nine years ago, Fox Animation optioned Cupid & Psyche by Terrence Malick14; yes, I too am trying to figure out the legend (sure, there is no evidence is it based on Apuleius’ creation, but what the hell else would a pitch/script called “Cupid & Psyche” be about?) would work in a PG-rated animated film and what exactly the development exec at Fox Animation was thinking with this decision.
Finally, filings show that Tetro star Vincent Gallo has a quartet of hitherto unknown, unproduced screenplays: 2008's Hello Sadness Goodbye Love15, (registered as "print materials," so it possibly could be a book and not a screenplay), registered a week before his ostensible retirement; 2006's Stars16 and Her17, registered on the same day in August of that year; and 2005's Frobia18, registered exactly three years to date before HSGL.
The Copyright Office does not allow direct linking for filings, thus most of this is unsourced. But if curious, head here and look up the corresponding registration numbers below.
1. PAu002893506
2. V3457D303
3. V3509D176
4. V3533D389
5. PAu003014539
6. PAu002724245
7. PAu002886719
8. V3543D012
9. V3491D669
10. V3569D084, V3569D081
11. PAu002601454
12. V3440D204, PAu002477006
13. PAu002410958, V3440D203
14. V3457D797
15. PAu003378618
16. PAu003067120
17. PAu003047255
18. PAu002931329
Update (6/25): I've been getting a Google referrals from around LA for The City That Sailed; some that would suggest the project was or is in turnaround.
Update (6/29): Through a Google search, I noticed The City That Sailed is mentioned Variety's listing of Overbrook's (Smith's prodco) future slate from last December; the synopsis was very similar to that described on the Nuke The Fridge site, and as of last December the film was set up at Fox. Probably less of "interesting coincidence" and more of "they are the same film."
Update (7/8): Ooh, Statcounter records reveal that someone from VNU, probably someone named Borys Kit, visited about a half-hour before a Bory Kit-penned Hollywood Reporter story about The City That Sailed went up.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
