A few posts ago I alluded to a "filmic complement to the Imagine: Party Babyz review"; well, this was to be a review of an early, outdated draft of the forthcoming Jonas-Farrelly sibling collab Walter the Farting Dog.

Well, I read through about four pages before deciding it was one of the worst things I have ever read, and unlike Party Babyz, there was no way I could find something remotely enjoyable or charming or redeeming enough to soldier on.

So, sorry about that

I swear I had set this post to go up automatically last Friday, but it seems not.

About two months ago, I was confounded by the news that Paul Weitz would be adding another wretched project to his plate before tackling the adaptation of Nick Flynn’s masterful Another Bullshit Night in Suck City—the very unnecessary sequel-to-a-sequel Little Fockers (though that is probably the one for the studio).

Well maybe I should have not been that surprised, as according to a filing at the United States Copyright Office, Paul and his brother Chris (and David O. Russell) did rewrites on the script for Meet the Fockers¹. (Okay, it is entirely possible that this was just another script doctoring gig for them, and there is no real connection, like how Kung Fu Panda is probably unrelated to the brothers’ Temple Rat for DreamWorks Animation²).

Watchmen scribe Alex Tse (fresh off of selling DA Verdict to MGM³) had performed a rewrite on Step Up⁴, John Lee Hancock lent a hand on Ghost Rider⁵, and Judd Apatow did so on Bruce Almighty (along with Bob Odenkirk)⁶ and the 2005 Locklear-Duff romcom The Perfect Man⁷ (an uncredit possibly more damning than his credit on Zohan).

Back in 2006, Andrew Niccol—man behind some films I have quite some fondness for—sold a spec to Fox entitled The City That Sailed⁸. According to Google search for the title, some random site recently reported that Will Smith was prepping for a film of the same name, where he would play a magician in NYC with a daughter in the UK, and when they are reunited in NYC, the city starts floating across the ocean towards the UK—typical stuff. Interesting coincidence. And Niccol also worked on a pilot proposal called Great Bridge for HBO in 2002⁹.

Speaking of HBO, filings from last year reveal that the underrated Tom McCarthy and short-subject Oscar-winning playwright Eric Simonson were commissioned to write an untitled project¹⁰, which Simonson’s bio at the Boston Lyric Opera site claims to be a pilot. However, there is a possibility that it is Simonson's recently finished Studs Terkel doc for the premium cabler mentioned in a Playbill story from yesterday, as the filing is very vague.

Despite much ballyhoo being made about Tetro being Francis Ford Coppola’s first screenplay since The Conversation, there is not much veracity to the claim. Of course, there is Coppola’s intended Godfather Part III follow-up Megalopolis, which I assume even the most casual Coppola fan is vaguely familiar with by now; the 2001 filing for the presumably near-shooting script “Megalopolis: screenplay in four seasons”¹¹ doesn’t shed much new light beyond a 145 page count and alternate titles “Mega” and “Catiline.” (If you are really curious about the ostensible mystery that is Megalopolis, do a Google search and a Google Book Search for “coppola megalopolis” to sate your curiosity.)

But there’s another project, sort of, and one that’s hitherto unknown: in 1999, Paramount optioned Dennis Jakob’s 1997 “screen treatment” Inferno¹², based on 13-page treatment from the same year penned by Coppola himself¹³. (There is a slight possibility that this is an adaptation of The Divine Comedy, but for our convenience, let’s assume not.)

(For those unfamiliar with Dennis Jakob, a brief primer: While a film student at UCLA, he became friends with Coppola and Jim Morrison. Following college, Morrison stayed with Jakob, and out of their conversations came the name “The Doors.” At the recommendation of Coppola, Jakob was hired to shoot the climax of Roger Corman’s The Terror. Jakob then dabbled in miscellaneous editing work which led to Jakob becoming Coppola’s unofficial guru-of-sorts; playing a very crucial role in development and editing of Apocalypse Now, for which Jakob received the credit of “creative consultant.” During post, Jakob was enraged by Francis becoming romantically interested in someone he was romantically interested in; Jakob disappeared for awhile with some of the film’s reels and was only coaxed back by a UCLA story. Barring a few IMDb credits, after some doctoring work on Hammett, Jakob basically disappeared off the face of the Earth. Though, Errol Morris’ Oscar film from a few years back featured a San Francisco-based film historian of the same name.)

On the topic of reclusive-ish types, nine years ago, Fox Animation optioned Cupid & Psyche by Terrence Malick¹⁴; yes, I too am trying to figure out the legend (sure, there is no evidence is it based on Apuleius’ creation, but what the hell else would a pitch/script called “Cupid & Psyche” be about?) would work in a PG-rated animated film and what exactly the development exec at Fox Animation was thinking with this decision.

Finally, filings show that Tetro star Vincent Gallo has a quartet of hitherto unknown, unproduced screenplays: 2008's Hello Sadness Goodbye Love¹⁵, (registered as "print materials," so it possibly could be a book and not a screenplay), registered a week before his ostensible retirement; 2006's Stars¹⁶ and Her¹⁷, registered on the same day in August of that year; and 2005's Frobia¹⁸, registered exactly three years to date before HSGL.

The Copyright Office does not allow direct linking for filings, thus most of this is unsourced. But if curious, head here and look up the corresponding registration numbers below.

1. PAu002893506
2. V3457D303
3. V3509D176
4. V3533D389
5. PAu003014539
6. PAu002724245
7. PAu002886719
8. V3543D012
9. V3491D669
10. V3569D084, V3569D081
11. PAu002601454
12. V3440D204, PAu002477006
13. PAu002410958, V3440D203
14. V3457D797
15. PAu003378618
16. PAu003067120
17. PAu003047255
18. PAu002931329

Update (6/25): I've been getting a Google referrals from around LA for The City That Sailed; some that would suggest the project was or is in turnaround.

Update (6/29): Through a Google search, I noticed The City That Sailed is mentioned Variety's listing of Overbrook's (Smith's prodco) future slate from last December; the synopsis was very similar to that described on the Nuke The Fridge site, and as of last December the film was set up at Fox. Probably less of "interesting coincidence" and more of "they are the same film."

Update (7/8): Ooh, Statcounter records reveal that someone from VNU, probably someone named Borys Kit, visited about a half-hour before a Bory Kit-penned Hollywood Reporter story about The City That Sailed went up.

As most of you probably do know, the final two Bell, Game, and Candle columns went up last week. (For those that haven’t seen, they can be found edition fourteen and edition fifteen, respectively.) Yes, I know this post is know belated, given that the topicality of those columns—the E3 expo—concluded yesterday.

The columns are in the grand tradition of the column being a string of things I had read or thought about in the past few weeks, especially the former, which features Warren Beatty, singer-songwriters, corporate decision-making as affected by drugs, a Sideways reference, and various other curiosities. Also, I had the column completely written with the intent of hallucinogenics and pixie dust being two separate things (pixie dust being, well, pixie dust), but after reading through it I noticed that could change the entire column by adding three words to the applications of pixie dust; because I felt like it, I did so. (There is not much to about the second column, other than it is meant to be read after the first.)

Yes, there was a three month gap in between those editions thirteen and fourteen, due to other commitments and even a little writer’s block. There was two intended columns in between—the Resident Evil 5 response (which I ended up putting here because I felt it had an expiration date) and “A Splendid Look at Cognition of Sir Robert Yescombe: An Internal Monologue.” The following, which obviously never made it near completion, is all I wrote for that:

I am now a solo mad proper gangsta, and I am now the only face of the artistic masterwork I am shilling. There is no Free Radical or anything, and Random House is only representing my literary work in a financial way. I have to rely on myself, because literature is a self-promotional medium. What should I say on its behalf, on my behalf? What is the new “Mike Tyson driving a stream train”?

Firstly, I should promote myself—I mean, I am no longer the corporate crooner masquerading as the coroner on the corner.

I am the next Roy Blount Jr.

“Heavy metal codpiece winning a BAFTA for Best Actor in a Larry King biopic.” Something works there, something does. Who is Larry King again? Oh yeah, the stone-age Yankee with suspenders and talk show.

“A triumvirate of Miss Matisyahus initiate a metaphorical albeit intranational conflict, but they have a change a heart. It turns into a sort of The Rage: Carrie 2 through the filter of The Great Gatbsy.” I think that is brilliant; it gives an abstract summarization of my great work and shows how I wrote what is two books for the price of one, a twofer if you will.

There was also a master list of column ideas, most of which never made the light of day, and some of those follow.

“Twenty Questions” - Such as “If interactivity is the defining characteristic of games as art, why isn't Spore being hailed as the zenith of the form?” or “Text-based adventures of the 80s were written so well, why is the writing of current action-adventure titles so poor?” or “Is it possible to have subtlety in game where you primarily shoot people?”
“What McSweeney's Can Teach Us” - I guess this sort of emerged in the Christopher Monks interview
“Huey Lewis' Game Company” - inspired by this SF Weekly article, a confabulation depicting a scenario where renown musician Huey Lewis has a game company and he invites some his audience, who end up knowing a hundred times more about what people want than the executives or gaming luminaries at the company.
“Alex Litel: Unofficial Development Consultant” - amongst other things, I tell Swordfish to drop the 50 Cent Gears clone for a Diablo Cody Gears clone
“The Metaphors of Boom Blox” - mock analysis of the depth of the Spielberg puzzler
“The State of Humor in Gaming” - serious analysis of the not-so-serious
McCain and video games - (a) fake interview with McCain and games (b) McCain on games (c) campaign memo to capitalize on games (d) McCain reviews games (d) campaign/RNC Guitar Hero fundraiser
What Jim Henson Can Teach Us

Most of the rest don’t really make sense to me. (In fact, I was re-reading another column—no, not the Silverlake one—a couple of days before, and that didn’t make sense to me either.

Even though the Tumblr blog is more active, I am not abandoning this blog, though there may be less gaming-related posts. There is something planned for next week that I’d say is the filmic complement to the Imagine: Party Babyz review (I don’t think I’m going to appreciate the subject as much, though).

I found this list in a text document in my Documents folder, why not use it?

You enjoy the music of the Klaxons.
You wore a t-shirt professing your enjoyment of the aforementioned "musical" act in a public environment.
You attended a concert with aforementioned "musical" act as the headliner.
You are not making an effort.

So, I registered at an acting site a few months ago with the intentions of starting a new Tumblog featuring the worst of breakdowns, but that never came to be. But during my sporadic visits, I have found an occasional interesting item or two, such as these details for Bob Dylan's new video.

Bob Dylan's latest video is a action packed narrative piece about a man and a woman in love and hate. Directed by Australian stunt man turned award winning director Nash Edgerton (SPIDER, LUCKY).

SEEKING:

[ GUY ]
40-50, Bukowski-esque, a run down working class drunkard. A little paunchy and rough looking. Maybe like mickey rourke in bar fly (but 10-15 years later). and not quite as good looking.

[ GIRL ]
30's. A tough girl who has seen it all. She's sexy, but trashy sexy, with some fight in her. Think Rose Mcgowan in Planet Terror or Marisa Tomei in The Wrestler.


Storyline: A man comes home to find the girl he tied up missing. She attacks him and a fight ensues. There is a fine line between love and hate. Is this violence or is this love?

As I have said many times, I am not that big a fan of latter-day Bob Dylan; however, this sort of thing probably leads to blog hits.

Edit: That's just the post title, and the listing did not specify what song the video is for (or otherwise, I would have disclosed such).